Monday, January 30, 2012

macam mimpi..


Dah dua minggu jejak kaki semula ke Malaysia...
setelah dua bulan hidup berkelana, merantau di bumi orang..
aku masih x percaya yg dah jejak kaki kat negara orang..

after spending 22 years confined in Malaysia, this is the first time I ever see the world beyond Malaysia..
you know, things that happen first time...
have a special spot in your memory.. 
and always hard to forget..

so...
ape yang da jd 2 bulan lepas rasa mcm mimpi...


orang tanya aku, rindu London x?
aku akan jawab..
hooo YeaH..
bukan nak poyo, tapi jujur dengan perasaan sendiri..
aku rindu London...


mungkin sebab dah adapt dengan hidup kat sana,
hidup berdikari..
naik bas sendiri..kadang2 pergi keluar shopping sendiri..
jalan2 kat London pada masa tu dah macam jalan2 kat Malaysia..
Bila dah balik jalan2 kat Malaysia pulak rasa macam jalan2 kat London..


YA 
aku rindu London..jauh disudut hati..

especially their parks....
breathtaking..
the perfect please to be during this stressful week..
exam..

Oxford University Park

ok 
SNAP!
dah, continue study!


Monday, January 16, 2012

mission imPOSSIBLE...

assalamualaikum...

we decided to be bold and get ourselves to Amsterdam and Paris, without knowing any of their language. we did walking tour with heavy luggage on our back. walk around amsterdam. Today we reached paris.


Amsterdam was quite ok, most of them can response in english, but paris..phew...better get a dictionary or learn the language if you ever want to come here..headache!


haven´t slept in bed for 2 days and my leg can barely take a step. oh ya, kasut koyak. what are the odds. dah la barang mahal kat Paris ni. kalau la boleh jalan pakai selipar jepun je. huh, just need to push myself to keep on walking, only 2 days left here...


will update on our activities later..

Friday, January 13, 2012

7th week : farewell...

assalamualaikum


this is my last week here, in Chase Farm HTT. I spent the first 2 days of the week at treatment wards. Imet local student nurse there who are very warm and welcoming. yeah, I was much more active here, in terms of activities and contact with patient. There was this one somalian lady, a patient there, whom I've met before during visit with CJ at recovery house. she has this habit of staring at me. and she did it again on wards. I got goosebumps but still, I need to compose my self. I am relief as she was not violence towards me. Instead, she was asking whether she can have my head scarf. I went blank. Oh yeah, she's  a muslim. now I remember. I diplomatically declined but she started to reach for my scarf. I prayed, please, don't let her tug the 'crown' that i've been wearing with pride in this country. Alhamdulillah, a staff came and intervene. SAFE! 


the next day, I saw her wearing a head scarf. that was my last day on that ward, because I was only there for two days. I did see her again that week, still wearing her head cover.


then, it's back with home treatment team. this 3 days seem to be very short. It felt like I was just here yesterday. towards my last day, I look at the board. the one that they use to allocate patient to the team members. there was my name written there, along with the patient I'm assigned to handle. It was only for phone call, but still, to have my name written there was like a life-time achievement (over pulak). 


I dropped by AAC few times and spent some time with them. they were happy to see me and so do I. It felt like I'm already one of the staff there. No one look at me weirdly as I entered their territory. I'm free to move around, even though wearing hijab, without anyone looking at me differently...except few patients, oh well, they might be having paranoid issues. 


My mentor who was supposed to be on his annual leave drop by to say hi, we all took some pictures together. 


then came Friday. It's time to go. I was saying goodbye to everyone. then they stopped me and pull out something from the kitchen cabinet. 

tadaa!!



 This was the second time they gave me chocolates. There is significant behind this. Chocolates are unanimously loved by everyone in this team. They said, they love to have me here, as much as they love chocolates. 


I cried. gosh, I promised not to cry. I guess I was never good at saying goodbye.

Enfield East Home Treatment Team..
Thank you so much for everything..
until we meet again..

Friday, January 6, 2012

6th week: assessment ward

assalamualaikum

towards the end of my placement here, I was finally given the chance to experience how mental health ward works in NHS, well at least in Chase Farm Hospital. for 2 days I was arranged to work with assessment ward. the mental health ward here is divided into three; namely assessment ward, treatment ward, and others (elderly, learning disability ward, forensic ward ). Last week I've spent some time with EAC.

Well, as said in previous post, EAC is the first contact for patient who came to inquire further help for their mental problem in hospital. To determine whether the person need admission to the ward or back to community or other service line, members from home treatment team will do join assessment. therefore, HTT is deemed as gatekeeper for ward admission.

ok, it's getting a bit confusing right? just read carefully as it is actually an organized pathway.

So, let say if the patient is really unwell, and HTT can't treat them in community, the person is likely to be admitted for further assessment. Every person who need to be admitted to mental health ward will end up in Assessment ward. Here, they will be assess for at least 2 weeks to determine if they'll require further treatment.

If yes, then they will be sent to the next ward which is treatment ward, as the name imply, this ward is for treating the patient.

If NO, they will be sent back to community setting, with follow up from HTT members for 7 weeks.

Now, lets look further on how assessment ward function. It is a mixed ward (male and female patient within the same ward). However, the unwell client will have their own room and rooms are congregated according to gender. so the term mixed only apply for other places except their room. client are free to move around the ward, even allowed to go outside to shop or to smoke. This privilege is only applicable to informal client (who are not under section).

activities :
- handover between nursing staff
- medication round
- white board meeting (multidisciplinary)
- protected time
   (nurses spend time with client, no phone calls are to be entertained)
- formulation meeting
  (between client, family, and all related health personel (nurses, psychiatrist, care coordinator, social worker etc.) where care plan is to be determined. done within 3 days of admission and each time care plan need to be alter)
- therapy session
(e.g. psychology, occupational therapy, etc)
- community meeting
(client with representative of patient welfare discuss about any needs they require from the wards. )

the unwell client here can be really unwell sometimes. Most of the time watching their behavior and having conversation with them can make you smile to your self. well, I nearly broke into tears, trying to stop myself from laughing at their hilarious behavior. especially for manic client. all sorts of make-up, and colours can be seen on them. the first day I went there, the staff was showing me around the ward and introducing me to the client. then, this one client start to ask my name and offer to shake hand. she shook and kiss my hand. I just smile. she's actually exiting from toilet. later I ran to the nearest sink and quickly perform the 7 step handwashing followed by applying alcohol hand rub.  eeeuuww..


Next week is my last week here. How fast time flew......

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year 2012

assalamualaikum..

Tak pernah sambut New year apatah lagi pergi countdown. walaupun kat Malaysia. Dah sampai sini tiba-tiba rasa nak pergi tengok ape yang best sangat pergi countdown new year ni. There are few different places in London for you to witness the beginning of 2012. We chose London Eye, sebab dekat Big Ben. Jalan raya sekitar Westminster ditutup dari pukul 4 petang lagi.  Ramai orang. tapi bukan Londoners, foreigners, termasuk kiteorang. ya ramai tourist je, orang london tak berapa nak heran sangat kot. sebelah kiri tourist India, kanan orang Korea, kat depan orang Europe, belakang orang sepanyol,..hmm, seems like when you visit London, you'll meet the world. 

Berdiri nak dekat 6 jam, lepas tu 3 kali hujan turun naik. eh, ade ke hujan naik?? hah, abaikan. Kesimpulannya, best sebab ada tiga benda ni je..

1. London Eye yang superb, cantik~~

lihat warnanya berubah ! cantik, suka sangat. bila ubah warna je semua orang bersorak-sorai. 


rate: 5 Star!!

2. Bunga Api!!!

disebakan ambik video, ni je gambar bunga api yang sempat snap. tapi sumpah cantik sangat-sangat! video pulak kene cari tv atau player yang boleh main video HD haish...

overall : 4 1/2 bintang, ingatkan ade keluar tulisan 'happy new year' ke, 'welcome 2012' ke..huhu, kan da kene potong markah.. 

3. Sebab ade kawan yang pergi same2. 

siap berkelah makan roti nan, biskut digestive Tesco sambil bace buku Jodi Piccoult House Rules lagi. arghh, lame cari buku ni, nasib baik gervanne pinjam kat library sini.
mata da kuyu...
Yang tak best, balik tu mak aih, banyak gila sampah bertabur kat jalan. kalau takat plastik cekedis tu tak pe, ni botol arak, tin Carlsberg, botol kaca yang pecah pun ade. lupa pulak kat London, memang la banyak benda tu. Nak balik, tak payah cerita la, free ride for tube and bus. Ambik, bas dah macam tin tuna! rapat dan padat, rasa nak pengsan je dalam bas tadi.


Tapi this is the first time I've been to countdown, but maybe no more next time. tak suka la berhimpit dengan orang, pastu muzik kuat dan orang semua happy happy joget. hmm, rase tak selesa. mungkin bukan jiwa aku kot, lepak kat tempat2 mcm ni...but, others look enjoy, let them be. Biarkan aku enjoy bunga api dengan view London eye and Big Ben je..

2012, semoga aku lebih matang, lebih berusaha dan lebih bersyukur.



ps: ingatkan ade Westlife buat persembahan ke..huu..

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