Change

Salam....

People reacts differently to new things. Some people settle well with changes while some don't. More often, people are afraid of changes. Why? Because of  the 'fear' of the uncertainty that'll come forth. So most people tend to shy away from 'new things' especially toward things that they are not in control with. They'll become skeptical towards new things and chose to settle down in the happy place called comfort zone. This is the usual form of psychological 'defense mechanism' towards change.

Why suddenly talk about change?

Well, for the past year I had settle down in the so called comfort zone at work. It was not easy to achieve that level of comfort. Working with people is not easy, at least for me whom will take some time to get along well with new acquaintance. That is why I feel blessed that i'm able to adapt well in the environment, able to understand people around me, and accept them at better and worse. I have come to love my work and those whom I work with.

Until one day, someone ask THAT question...

"......so what are your plan for future?......"

That question left me with a bigger question.

Has the time come?
Is it time to leave my comfort zone in the name of change? For brighter future...

There is no answer for that question. There's only choices. To live happy or to live accomplished. So I chose change, thanks to words of encouragement and need to challenge myself...

I chose to walk away...

away from things that I love...
away from people whom I had come to understand and care so much...
away from my comfort zone...

Leaving anaesthesia for surgery..

Now, i'm back on the roller coaster ride. Facing new things, new people, new set of attitude. To tell the truth, I miss my comfort zone. SOOO MUCH. There's no turning back. I really hope that adaptation period will pass swiftly.

'Change' is not scary...but it is also not easy. Once you've come to term with it, you'll be surprise with the opportunities that it'll bring. And definitely, a bigger comfort zone awaits..I hope people sees change in a positive light. Let's give a chance for change.

 Until then...

Keep strong. Stay positive....and cry when you need to.

I miss you comfort zone...

Melodrama side of life...

assalamualaikum...

It's been long..long since I write anything here. In between that gap, I was trapped in turbulence of emotions. Excitement, bliss, sadness, stressed,...you named it. I've experience changes in life. From a student to a career women. the journey was not pleasant. A lot of things to sort out, a thousands of questions from relatives, neighbors or anybody who knows you..about the same thing...

"are you employed??"

Yeah and not to mention, a lot of money spent to get attention from potential employers, a lot of time spent waiting, and a lot of disappointments and rejection. Yes. That was the challenge to be grown ups.

I am honestly, grateful to be blessed with such a smooth path. The period of waiting has ended for me. Most of my dear friends are still waiting. Waiting for the opportunity to show what a good nurse they are. And I know, they are. It's just a matter of time, for them to end their wait. Of course, it's easier said than done..but trust me, I can relate to their situation. I've been there too.

To cut story short, I am now hired as a nurse in operating theater. Oh, that's another life drama. I never imagine myself to work there. I was first offered position as an intensive care unit (ICU) nurse, the one that I aimed since third year of my study. The one path that I decide as my so called "ideal future". So, it literally felt like a stab to my heart when the HR called, informing me of that I was relocated in OT. Oh, like everything turned blank. I argued, defending my intention to stay in ICU but to no avail. So here I am, exploring a new perspective of nursing. One that I never intended to be a part of.

but there's a saying, " you can take many path to get to the same place"

So, for the time being, the best that I can do is to go with the flow...and explore a new path...
may I find my way back to my destination.

like I love soy drink...

I like soya drink. Ever since I was 8 years old I think. It all started when I read one of the textbook, which I think the Bahasa Melayu textbook. There was a short story, something about establishing good daily routine or so. In the story, the girl woke up early, brushed her teeth, take her breakfast, go to school, do homework then go play, have a glass of milk before sleep, again, brushed her teeth and dozed off early. 

Well, me, being an 8 years old, was fascinated with this story and suddenly got this idea on how to be a 'model daughter'. I copied the routine, just like what's written in the story; except three things: woke up early, dozed off early, and drink milk.I can't do anything about the sleep problem but I somehow modified the part where I need to drink milk. Since I strongly, disliked the taste of milk(especially ones without flavour), I did some improvisation. yeah, I take soy drink. before sleep. I kind off make sure that there'll be a box of seasons soy drink in the shopping cart whenever my dad took us for groceries shopping. That was the first meeting point of me and soy drink. Ever since then, my attachment to soy drink begun. I fell in love. Me and soy drink live happily ever after. 

until...

mimpi

mimpi itu komunikasi antara minda separa sedar kepada minda sedar,

terjemahan emosi dan keinginan diri...

mimpi buat kita percaya tiada yang mustahil,

mimpi boleh mendorong kita maju

tapi 

mimpi juga boleh membawa mudarat, 

jika kita terperangkap dalamnya..

dan hanya mengharap dan membayangkan

sebab itu, mimpi tidak boleh kekal menjadi mimpi.

mimpi perlu jadi realiti.

tanpa terjemahan ke realiti,

 mimpi itu hanya ilusi yang kekal dalam angan...

jika realiti tak seindah mimpi, 

itu cuma hakikat kehidupan,

mana mungkin semua angan jadi nyata..

tapi tak bermakna mimpi harus mati begitu saja.

mimpi, 

untuk jadi realiti 

perlukan usaha...

kerana.. 

mimpi kalau jadi realiti.....

 memang indah....

dare to act your dream....

the next stage..

Assalamualaikum...


 It's time to grow up. There will be no more depending on ayah. It's time to be independent, finding my own way on how to live my life. Somehow I can't imagine life not being a student. I love being student. To be given  low level of accountability yet a fair amount of trust. Now, the consequences of every decision made bears on my own shoulder. I never thought that growing up could be so intimidating but still, it's just another cycle of life to go through.


I heard stories on how some of my seniors struggle to settle with a descent job even though being in a high demand profession. It's demoralizing and sad to know that our qualification was downgraded by our own profession. For now, all that we can do is to try and market ourselves, to whoever whom appreciate our existence. Maybe, things will change. someday....


 As for time being, lets go for job hunting....

:)

At the end of the road...

 Assalamualaikum..


 19th JULY 2012

the last day in pink uniform

The four year journey marked its end today. No words can described the memories that we've made together. No emotions that we haven't been through together. No explanation can decipher the source that bonds us together. No bloodlines was needed to make us feel like we're family.


We fought, we disagree...only to end up with a stronger attachment to each other. Yes we became an item, where everyone plays a vital roles.

On our last day, we had an exam. OSCE. Perhaps the most nerve wreaking exam ever for this four years of study. Then we had pizza together, followed by moment of truth session where each of us gave our farewell speech. most burst into tears, that includes me. Some handle it with smile and humors. but deep inside we were all happy to be apart of each others life for four years. Soon after, 7 of us were called for VIVA session and the rest wait together. It is like the longest day ever we were in uniform, from 8 am to 7pm.
But that doesn't matter. It will be the last time we ever wear it in our very own Nursing department.

a piece of memory that i'll never forget, even though it was taken away in reality, but in my mind, the memories lives on...

And now..it's time for us to fly free. To go on with life, no matter where that road might leads. We might cross each others path, or we might not. Wherever life takes us, no matter how far we will go, one thing for sure...

We had touch each others life that left a deep meaning in our hearts and our memory.

Sisters for 4 years..and forever..

I really love you guys/girls!

may our uhkhuwah stands still forever~~    

Farewell....the Rebung Restaurant

Assalamualaikum..

Farewell dinner at Restoran Rebung...

           All that begins must come to an end. the sad truth of life. After 4 years of joy, tears, sweat and laughter, now, we had reached the end of our roller coaster. Planned by small committee among the beloved classmate, here we are, at Rebung Restaurant...having our last dinner together as a group.

 I'm not going down the memory lane just yet. It's a harsh reality to faced. Will talk about the event details some other time. Instead, fot the time being, let's just talk about the place where the memory was created. 

This is Rebung restaurant, owned by Chef Ismail and Dr Sheikh Muzaphar (yup the astronaut-cum-doctor). Situated in Bangsar. The place usually cater for private event. With RM50, we were allowed to indulge ourselves with finger licking good cuisine in 3 hours. Yes, it offers buffet style of dinning, the kind with 'eat-all-you-can-until-you-can't' style. 

The restaurant was actually a modified bungalow. So it does kinda feels like standing in front of someone's home when you stand at the entrance. Stepping inside the building, you'll be greeted by a totally different ambiance. 

The interior design....