like I love soy drink...

I like soya drink. Ever since I was 8 years old I think. It all started when I read one of the textbook, which I think the Bahasa Melayu textbook. There was a short story, something about establishing good daily routine or so. In the story, the girl woke up early, brushed her teeth, take her breakfast, go to school, do homework then go play, have a glass of milk before sleep, again, brushed her teeth and dozed off early. 

Well, me, being an 8 years old, was fascinated with this story and suddenly got this idea on how to be a 'model daughter'. I copied the routine, just like what's written in the story; except three things: woke up early, dozed off early, and drink milk.I can't do anything about the sleep problem but I somehow modified the part where I need to drink milk. Since I strongly, disliked the taste of milk(especially ones without flavour), I did some improvisation. yeah, I take soy drink. before sleep. I kind off make sure that there'll be a box of seasons soy drink in the shopping cart whenever my dad took us for groceries shopping. That was the first meeting point of me and soy drink. Ever since then, my attachment to soy drink begun. I fell in love. Me and soy drink live happily ever after. 

until...

saya ade ulser

Assalamualaikum..

saya ada ulser di mulut. saya jarang berjodoh dengan ulser, jadi kali ini ulser yg datang membawa bersama kesakitan yang WOW! sakit yang dah meragut tumpuan saya yang patutnya terpaku meneliti nota. ini adalah minggu final exam. final yang final...finally. sebab lepas ini jika tiada aral melintang, saya bukan lagi bergelar seorang pelajar. mungkin agak mengada-ngada disini. tapi who cares. saya perlu diversional therapy!

oh ulser berdenyut lagi. begitu juga dengan kepala yang turut sama terkesan daripada sakit itu. letaknya ulser itu hampir di bibir. jadi bibir pun turut merana. rasa bagai terbakar pun ade. nak senyum pun perlu fikir dua kali, apatah lagi nak ketawa. Ouch. Dua skills refleks yang saya mahir, yang buat saya gembira...kini diragut sementara. oh perlu sembuh segera. kerana minggu ini, saya ada alasan untuk tersenyum lebar. macam mana nak senyum kalau muka berkerut.??

ouch. rasa terbakar lagi. air garam dah dikumur. sampai tertelan pulak. tapi belum berkesan. ade petua lain. letak kicap, letak marjerin, kumur listerin dan macam-macam lagi. Yang paling mujarab ialah minum air yang cukup. sebab itu lah pencegah utama ulser itu. Kini dah terkena. terima je lah.

mungkin perlu beli krim Bonjela. Mereka kata mujarab. Saya tak pernah cuba.
akhir kata. ouch.
watashiwa kuchibiru ga tottemo itai desu. 

sedikit kata semangat.

 sudah!

 perlu pergi menghadap nota.

the blue sky effect

assalamualaikum..

everyone have something that helps to deescalate their stress. religious approach is almost always the effective method of psychotherapy...a way to share your worries and seek for guidance. don't get it wrong, psychotherapy doesn't mean that you're having mental problems, it's just a label on how to tackle your problem psychologically. Other than that, some chose to listen to music, do sports, reading, and the list goes on and on. for me, staring at a clear blue sky soothe me the best. extra effect if the sky is tainted by puffy, fluffy white things called clouds. the best therapy.

*some might find it weird as i tend to smile when i'm soothing. they might think that i'm some kind of alien that was looking a far to wherever or whichever planet i came from...*sigh.. 

lately, i've faced a lot of issue that make me rethink about the path that i chose for my future, the trust, responsibility and hope that i bear. questioning my capability and my choice. things that made me skeptical about my life in the next 3 or 4 years. i was dumbfounded,  lost my motivation. I forgot to look up the sky. because i'm either out early, when the sun hasn't shine, or home late, when sky is dark, or late in the evening, when my body is tired and my stomach almost scream to be fed. that is when i forgot to look up and say 'ahh, the sky is bright'.

and almost always, i seek for guidance to soothe my doubt and worries. and my prayers were answered the very next day. well at least i think that is the answer i'm looking for. i prayed for motivation, and there i got it. the glimpse of the one who have the 'blue sky' effect on me. i never understood, whenever my heart was burdened with problems that demotivates me, i will almost always cross path with the person with that 'blue sky' vibes. and it did uplift my motivation. so that should equals to an answered prayers does it?? 

maybe it means nothing...but for sure, it means something to me. to that 'blue sky' person, thanks for the inspiration. 

bijak..bijak...

salam..


apa itu definisi pandai, bijak, dan yang sewaktu dengannya?
bagaimana kebijaksanaan itu diukur?

berdasarkan keputusan peperiksaan? lagi banyak 'A' yang dikumpul, makin bijak la sesorang itu.
atau...
kejayaan dalam hidup? mempunyai profession yang disegani, punya harta dan wang berjuta..
atau
penghormatan daripada orang di sekeliling? diiktiraf masyarakat, menang pelbagai anugerah dan pengiktirafan..


hmmm...


bagi saya, kebijaksanaan itu adalah keupayaan manusia memproses maklumat yang diterima, memahaminya,  menyimpan dan seterusnya memanipulasikan maklumat tersebut menjadi sesuatu yang berguna untuk diri dan masyarakat. Maklumat yang berguna itulah diangkat sebagai ilmu.

pada dasarnya kita semua makhluk ciptaan Allah yang pandai. Kerna Allah menganugerahkan manusia dengan akal. setiap manusia, paling tidak, akalnya mampu untuk menerima dan menyimpan maklumat yang diterima. apabila kita memahami maklumat tersebut, secara tak langsung proses pembelajaran telah pun bermula. yang membezakan tahap kebijaksanaan manusia adalah

thoughts on love

Assalamualaikum.

Scientist researched on love and says that it's all mediated by chemical chain of reaction. how phenyl ethylamine is created when you are attracted to someone. then dopamine and norepinephrine being produce whenever you thought about that person, making you feel very excited. this is where all those physiological manifestation took place: flushed cheek, racing heartbeat. those feeling is toned down by serotonin that makes you relax and put yourself in a state of happiness. then those feeling moves to another stage. Commitment. hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin are responsible for feeling of connection with someone, ties our feelings to memories and contribute to fidelity to the one you love. huh, science always finds its way to prove everything.

But above all those chemicals and scientific terms

macam mimpi..

Dah dua minggu jejak kaki semula ke Malaysia...

setelah dua bulan hidup berkelana, merantau di bumi orang..

aku masih x percaya yg dah jejak kaki kat negara orang..

after spending 22 years confined in Malaysia, this is the first time I ever see the world beyond Malaysia..

you know, things that happen first time...

have a special spot in your memory.. 

and always hard to forget..

so...

ape yang da jd 2 bulan lepas rasa mcm mimpi...

orang tanya aku, rindu London x?

aku akan jawab..

hooo YeaH..

bukan nak poyo, tapi jujur dengan perasaan sendiri..

aku rindu London...

mungkin sebab dah adapt dengan hidup kat sana,

hidup berdikari..

naik bas sendiri..kadang2 pergi keluar shopping sendiri..

jalan2 kat London pada masa tu dah macam jalan2 kat Malaysia..

Bila dah balik jalan2 kat Malaysia pulak rasa macam jalan2 kat London..

YA 

aku rindu London..jauh disudut hati..

especially their parks....

breathtaking..

the perfect please to be during this stressful week..

exam..

Oxford University Park

ok 

SNAP!

dah, continue study!

muhasabah

assalamualaikum...



Rasa sedih. 

Mungkin...
                 ....doa yang terjawab itu bukan semata-mata kurnia daripada Allah kepada hambaNya yang
                     berusaha.

Tapi.....

                 ....tak lebih sekadar ujian samada hambaNya itu sungguh benar taat atau bagai lalang yang sering
                     leka dibuai haluan angin. Mudah berubah.


Rasa sakit.

                ....bila diperingatkan bahawa diri ini telah leka dalam rahmatnya. Sakit fizikal yang mungkin
                    sekadar kecuaian diri. Barangkali ada hikmah tersembunyi dibalik perkara yang terjadi.

 
Rasa takut...

Kerana....
 
                ....seperti gagal jadi hambaNya yang kekal taat bila ada ujian yg diberi dibalik rahmatNya. Perlu  
                    muhasabah diri. Perlu lebih kuat lagi. Semoga aku tidak leka dan Allah tak jatuh murka.

dreams

assalamualaikum..

source: harian metro 18th nov '11

dream...is it a short form of Don't Really Ever Anticipate Miracle...

do you ever dream? do your dream ever come true? are your prayers always get answered? the girl, in the picture up there, is a prove that dream do come true...if you put effort to make it happen.

for me, dreams = imagination + effort.

if you get what you dream without effort, that is merely being lucky.

talking about the girl in the picture up there, remind me of the day I received my UPSR result. the reminiscent of that time, when the white baju kurung and navy blue coloured sarong was my uniform, almost make my tears fell

 ...back then....I was crying too, when my name was called among those who did well in the exam. the feels of having achieved things that you want in your life is priceless. but of course, if you want to gain, you need to face the pain. this girl, giving by the circumstance she's in, at that very young age, was able to achieved what she wants. so why can't us?

I have a lot more of my dreams that has yet to be achieved. but I always remind myself that I had achieved lot before this so it's ok if my other dreams are not answered.

So....don't choose to stop dreaming. Start working for that dream....than the opportunity will come along the way...

to study abroad is the 'achieved' goal, visit PARIS is another dream to be achieve...

nak sangat-sangat!!!!!

sebelum berangkat pergi ke kota London lagi 2 minggu....mahu sangat2 memiliki benda ini....

SONY CYBERSHOT DIGITAL CAMERA WX30/V

 ........lagi2 yang warna ungu kat depan tu..argh..so tempting!

kenapa???

16.2 MP tu.....

sebab boleh menghasilkan gambar yang sangat clear..walaupun zoom. 10kali lagi clear daripada kamera digital yang biasa. biasa means kamera digital sony yang model sebelum2 ni...

ade optical steady shot. nak tangkap gambar sambil lari pun boleh. ambil video sambil jalan pun tak de gegar2....

Sebab ade warna ungu!!!

harap2 cukup wang untuk membeli...harga standard RM999.00. GULP!!...

tapi pernah jumpa harga around RM700+-

semoga impian tercapai~~

the unsung leader

assalamualaikum..

A man is the leader of himself. If we direct ourselves to be a good person, then we will become a better person eventually. Yes, we are the unsung leader.


I was glancing through the 'hall of fame' of our nursing department while waiting for the English teacher whom may help us in translating our research questionnaire. The faces of seniors, dressed in their graduation robe. They has this some sort of glow. The look that say ' We love nursing and we'll bring change '. I can't help but wondering if they still have that same 'glow' or has it withered away.......


and so I ask myself,  what will I become once I took the step out of this nursing school?

'Can I serve the purpose of my profession well???'

'To what extent is my 4 years stores of knowledge be applicable???'

and the worse is.....

' Will I eventually be 'desensitize' with  the common practices that 'degrades' the nursing image???'

haaa...will I lost that 'glow'??


and while I was looking for a case study in ward, I witness something...

A senior, who is giving nursing care to a patient...and took time to actually talk to the patient and her relatives, explaining what the procedure and always reassess the patients' comfort. Still practicing what were taught in this nursing school....and still has that glow...


so I tell myself, what ever I do, in the end I'm the one who'll decide who I will be...for I am the leader of myself...and I too, want to have that 'glow' everlasting.....


3 years back......................

aren't we glowing? (maybe due to effect of editing~~)
by the way, its SARJANA, not SAUJANA. Saujana is a 'nasyid' group, though the way we lineup do look like a nasyid group...haha..

absurd

assalamualaikum..

A small, unimportant things done by a particular person can throw a festive in my heart...

somehow..it drew a smile on my face..

and 

made me forget the reality for a while.....

We Will Be the 40th!!

assalamualaikum...

I got up early today just for the sake of UKM's-39th Convocation Ceremony. I'm not graduating today. My turn will be next year perhaps..Insyallah. I was there today to meet up with seniors of course and to avenge last year regret of not having enough time to explore tapak pesta. haha, we reached UKM Bangi around 8.30 am and were greeted by empty stalls. Turns out that we were too early. Only those who were involves in clinical booth were seen scurrying here and there.


But fair enough, being early means that we are free to do as we like. We got all the time in the world to scan every booth and watched martial art demonstrations. There were silat, silambam, aikido and tae-kwan-do I think. there were also Upin Ipin mascot, who came to enlighten the children from colouring contest.

Upin & Ipin!!!

Later in the afternoon, we met up with Gervanne and Sun in Dewan Gemilang and set our journey to DECTAR. I called it journey because we walk all the way from Dewan Gemilang to Dectar. It was like reliving the time we had during orientation week in Bangi almost 3 years ago. yeah, it was tiring!

taking a break...
standing: Faez and me
front row; from left: Gervanne, Dayana, Su Ai, Dilla, Paan
notes: we are senior STUDENT... NOT senior CITIZEN!

We finally reached DECTAR with my feet blistering. OUCH... Sadly, we haven't cross path with most of our graduating seniors. huhu, everyone was everywhere, and so we station ourselves somewhere in front of DECTAR...hoping to see any of them. After much time waiting, we only met few of them.

with Kak Tay...

we were bathing under the hot sun while waiting for our bus back to PPUKM. everyone was drained out of energy. oh yes, we waited for almost an hour by the street, to catch up our ride! we had fun, and we had sunburn too~~

Next year will be our turn to donned the robe, walk up the stage, and received the scroll as the symbol of four years of joy and pain together. I couldn't possibly imagine what it will feel like, but one thing for sure, I'll definitely shed tears. Until that time, may we all be strong to face another year ahead..

with Sun..the junior..

self limit

assalamualaikum...

reading, alone,  do not  make people look awesome, 

fantastic,

nor

 prodigious...

it's about what they read...

and how they process and benefits from it...

i just LOVE reading...

but i'm not awesome...

is it study week or study weak??

assalamualaikum...

this is about me, babbling to myself about how i screwed up my study week and what i should do to stop this disaster! 

did you ever feel like banging your head to the wall..? yes i did. so much about challenging yourself, trying to be different from others.  i should have play safe and pick a cardiac case like most half of my course mate did. then i wouldn't have wasted my precious time trying to figure out how to write my case study.urgh!! i hardly begin!! served you right Nisa! phew...yes i'm whining! my alter ego is probably laughing out right now, saying 'i said so!' while my other half was trying to figure out how to solve this...

huuu, ok calm down. pull yourself together. now what option do i have. my biggest problem now is how to explain the patient's diagnosis which presented with so many complications. i was too eager to write about nursing aspect of caring a ventilated patient. i forgot that her medical diagnosis shares the same important points. aiyoo..how should i begin. maybe i should just proceed with other parts that i already know, and sort out the other problem later. i don't know. i'm too stress to think, i'm still lacking of motivation to write....and to study..

-------------------> haah, somebody please slap me in my face! <---------------------

you know, when you are anxious about something, you'll tend to divert your attention from the source by doing other thing that make you feel good. i got that idea from one of the mental health lecture last sem. and guess what? it is true. i am shifting my attention to other things that is no where in the list of MUST DO list. see, i'm the living testimonial for that psychological theory. so to defy that theory, let just understand the concept first..

lets change this equation

normal self -> fear/anxiety source (EXAM, CASE STUDY) -> stress = not STUDYING

to....

normal self -> desensitizing of fearful sources, constant exposure and reduce intensity of fear (GROUP DISCUSSION, WATCH DRAMAS, SLEEP AND EAT WITH YOUR NOTES, KEEP CHANTING THAT EXAM WAS NOT A BIG DEAL) -> stress, but not tooo stress = ENJOY LIFE while REVISING

hah, the equation doesn't look right. but worth trying...
  

why oh why????
why students are stressed during study week...

people were gossiping. .....

they said A had covers all the topics. she's so going to be in the dean list! have you read on **** yet? i heard that question is a favourite!

psychologically defeated student said: 

huh? who said so? why didn't anyone told me??? i didn't 

study hard enough. oh no i'm screwed!!  

a prepared student will react:

oh, is it? then i'll just revised it while watching my korean series, don't worry, i have some ideas about that topic, i had a lectures on it before...i thought we all do? dean list is just another list. if i deserved it, then i will be listed. don't get me wrong, i love study, i just don't study hard~~  

so????

better stop abusing 'study week' with a 'weak' way of studying!
enough of whining and start being productive! 

signing off...i love EXAM~~~

Mahu tapi tak perlu

assalamualaikum...


on the way balik ipoh, di tengah kesesakan jalan raya yang teruk kat KL, sayup2 aku dengar berita dari radio klasik Nasional pilihan pak cik drebar bas....

" gempa bumi di Jepun....8.9 kala richter...tsunami di Sendai..."

gulp...Sendai kat mane ye? bukan kat pulau Hokaido rasenyer...kata hati sambil membayangkan nasib orang2 kat sana. waa..teringat imej2 masa tsunami kat acheh dulu...

samada gambar ni tak betul (photoshop) atau pun pak cik ni yang x betul...
Pak Cik LARIIIIII!!!
ihsan google

baru nak concentrate dengar berita tu, tiba keluar segmen karoke kat klasik nasional, wujud rupenye segmen sebegitu. mula2 macam excited nak dengar...dengan muzik pop yeah2 serta sambutan menggalakkan oleh pakcik2 yang begitu bersemangat menyanyi, terbayang pulak aksi2 ala2 jeffry din..

 selepas 5 minit.......

pasang Mp3 sambil tutup mata...zzzZZZZ...kat rumah jer la aku tengok berita. 

esoknya...

"LOJI TENAGA NUKLEAR DI FUKUSHIMA DAICHI MELETUP"

mak terus tanya, 'ai jadi ke nak ke sana ica?'. aku pulak tak tahu nak cakap apa...

akhir nya hari ni confirm yang perjalanan ke sana dibatalkan atas sebab keselamatan. dari cerita Prof, kawasan Hokaido memang tak terlibat dengan tsunami tapi kesan letupan radiasi tu sangat bahaya. "nanti ko balik sini jadi pendek pulak nisa" (bak kata paan). jadi selepas bincng petang dengan joanne, dan gervanne pun setuju, akhirnya tukar haluan ke UK. (yep UK itu di eropah, bukan Ulu Klang atau Ulu2 yang sewaktu dengannya..). so it's no longer community but Mental Health. 

walaupun hati berat dan kecewa sebab tak dapat attach dengan Sapporro City University, aku redha. kalau ikutkan hati memang sedih . mungkin belum sampai masa. mungkin satu hari nanti tercapai juga hasrat nak ke sana. mungkin jugak petunjuk yang Allah nak bagi, supaya aku lebih fokus dengan tujuan nak ke sana bukan obses dengan tempat yang akan ditujui. Ya Allah, memang hanya Dia yang tahu membezakan keperluan dan keinginan diriku.

Kekecewaan ku tak setanding kesedihan mereka..
ihsan google

jadi, jangan sedih lama2. rezeki ku bukan disitu. bak kata Prof, concentrate with what you are doing now. yeah, akan ku lakukan itu. ..insyallah...


mental health, please make me fall in love with you....

a Reason To SMILE =)

assalamualaikum...

quoted from a patient who received HomeCare service today........

" terima kasih la anak2 semua...pak cik terhutang nyawa dengan kamu orang semua..... "

ooOOooH I'm so touched!

felt appreciated. so this is the beauty of nursing profession that i've been looking for...where a care given heals not only the wound but touches the heart...the career path that i cherished...the one that i chose!

 we were only there to removed surgical clips from his healing wounds and yet he regard as as his life savior. may Allah blessed him and may others starts to appreciate nurses and nursing profession!

*****************************************************************

ps: empathize the victims of catastrophe in Japan. Sad with mentality and insensitivity of certain Malaysian citizen... need to hone my nursing skills...who knows someday, with good skills, i can contribute in humanitarian service...and help those in need...who knows...someday~~~~~ 

when i was.......

assalamualaikum....

when i was 6, my mom teaches me verses in Quran and solat. i remember how afraid i was when i can't recite the surah she had taught. but still i read it out loud (with lot of mistakes) because mom said those who did not pray and read Quran will not go to heaven and will be friends with ghost and satan. so i pray and read Quran with mom's guidance because i'm afraid of ghost. NOW i'm able to pray and recite Quran on my own...not because of ghost but LillahiTa'ala....      

when i was 7, i always adore bookshops. i remember reading enid blyton series that my father bought for us. it was written in english and i don't even understand a word! yet i still hold on to that book, scan page by page with dictionary as my companion, trying to understand the story. i only did UNDERSTAND the whole story when i was in standard 5. NOW i'm able to understand and converse in English a lot more better..not because i'm forced to understand it, but i love to learn it....

when i was 9, mathematics is equal to nightmare. i remember asking my dad how to solve mathematics homeworks and he was soooo straight in teaching. i was once pinch by my math teacher because i did not completed my homework. i hate maths but i'm not going to lose. nah..never! and so i did a lot of mathematics exercises, improving my score in exam and huh! NOW, i finally score A for UPSR, PMR, SPM and Matriculation....not because of the challenge that i made to myself, but for the satisfaction i get whenever i help  others to solve their math homework... 

when i was 12, i love to watch japanese drama called Power Office Girl. there was also visits from japanese student to my school. i fell in love with their language. from that moment i decided that i want to be able to speak their language and fly to japan one day...i was so influenced by their songs, anime and drama. without realizing it, i can understand a bit of their language. NOW, i need to really learn how to communicate in japan...not just for self satisfaction...but because Allah had granted my prayers to go to Japan, insyallah...

when i was 16, i was asked to decide for my future. science stream, bussiness or art. so i chose science for i dream to become a doctor. i love to watch medical series and i admires doctors for their intelligence and ability to help others. i study hard to ensure that i achieve the level of knowledge needed to save life. but efforts alone is not enough. NOW, here i am, in the faculty of medicine in UKM.... not as a medical student, but a proud nursing student. with perhaps, almost the same level of knowledge but differ in practice.

Allah, offers us with what we need not what we desired. life is a journey where opportunities is given equally to all but may only belong to those who worked for it, with Allah's will. i'm grateful with what i gain for now, and i hope for His guidance to achieve what i need in the future.

just a REMINDER for me who always FORGETS.....